Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Allah is an Icelandic Volcano

I once heard Hendrik Hertzberg say with all seriousness that the God of the Bible/Judeo-Christian worldview is a “Saddam Hussein in the sky,” arbitrarily doling out oppression, pain and suffering on the earth below.

If this is the case, then Allah, god of Islam, is an Icelandic volcano blowing its top.

Said senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi yesterday, “Many women who do not dress modestly . . . lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”

This is only slightly-less insane than Danny Glover’s explanation for earthquakes: Gaia. See his analysis below. Personally, I think he’s just getting too old for this s***.

“What happened in Haiti could happen to anywhere in the Caribbean because all these island nations are in peril because of global warming. When we see what we did at the climate summit in Copenhagen, this is the response, this is what happens, you know what I'm sayin'?”

Yes, I know what you are saying.

In other news, Pat Robertsons' dog has died from what appears to be a pact made with Kibbles 'N Bits. Official autopsy results have yet to be released or confirmed.

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